Meet me and my dreams

Dear readers, welcome to my tumblr. I am Eva and I live in Holland. My dream is to go to Australia. All our dreams can come true if we have te courage to pursue them.

its the fight can change a life for the better or worse. 

I’m in love with you,” he said quietly.
“Augustus,” I said.

"I am," he said. He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling. "I’m in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.

John Green, The Fault in Our Stars (via canhappenlove)

(via epicjohngreenquotes)

10503) The struggle between wanting to be healthy and happy with myself and wanting to be skinny is endless. I want to be able to look down without cringing at what I see. Anorexia has ruined me.

(via eatingdisorderconfessions)

9732) Anytime I eat, the guilt consumes me and I have to sleep or do anything else. I have to distract myself from thinking about how disgusting I am.

(via eatingdisorderconfessions)

a lyric by marina and the diamonds describes a situation which literally happens weekly to me :

Supermarket: “oh what package of crackers to pick? They’re all the same, one brand, one name, but really they’re not. Look, just choose something quick because people are staring.” My skin is on fire I must choose something. Pressure is overwhelming and the next minute I’m turning out of the door facing one week without food. Some days are just really bad but don’t let them make you feel sad: those crackers were probably bad luck anyway

8699) I can’t concentrate on my homework because I’m so hungry.

(via eatingdisorderconfessions)

I got dark only to shine

I’m seriously getting anxiety attacks when I think about the holiday I’ve booked with my boyfriend to Turkey; he will see me in bikini and therefore I need to lose at least 20 lbs in order to be not totally ashamed of my body.

the past few weeks i have learned to find happiness in small things. things as going for a walk and see the sun rise, hearing people having conversations about random things, making myself a healthy breakfast.

Today I decided to go for a ride on my bike. It had been a long time since I took the bike to go anywhere. I usally went by scooter or by bus but since my confession yesterday to my parents and boyfriend I really needed some time and space to think. I decided to go to a place nearby to do some groceries for my mom as well. I started cycling and I can´t describe the feeling that it gave me. I felt careless and free, I smiled all the time and greeted people I saw. I even gave myself a diet coke and enjoyed it(!) I have not looked at my legs or body at all and felt truly happy. After an hour I was back home and decided to tell my mom how I felt but the same minute I wanted to tell her I realized that I´ve burned X calories by cycling an hour and BAM! back to where I was. 

I miss my dad

since he moved away, i can only see him a couple of times a year and i miss him being around every day.

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